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Motherhood

Empowered Living, Loving Myself Loudly, Motherhood

Who is it All For?

I remember at a very young age asking my mother when I could start shaving my legs. Everyone in my class was doing it, talking about it, and in my mind it was this rite of passage, this transition into womanhood. I remember the whispers in the hallway, the chatter in the change rooms and feeling so incredibly isolated from the crowd. I had this desperate need and longing to fit in, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen, including asking my mother weekly when I could start shaving my legs.

I remember feeling ecstatic when she finally said yes, and then only hours later, overwhelmed as I hopelessly stared at an entire aisle of products designed to meet my need of crowd appeasing hair removal. I finally gathered my purchases and with that rush of excitement, paired with serious nerves I went to work in the bathroom. It wasn’t long before the magic and muster wore off…

When I was in the throws of daily grooming I remember feeling nothing but utter frustration, torture and pain. From ingrown hairs, to itchy bumps & 5 o’clock shadow I was miserable. It went from being this exciting rite of passage to this daunting horrible task that was thrust upon me. Shaving almost daily for mere hours of soft smooth skin. I remember the backaches from being hunched over in my bathroom performing yoga moves to get every last hair. The endless bandaids and bits of blood all over my bathroom from desperately trying to navigate around knees and ankles. Every day I would ask myself “why the fuck am I even doing this?!” But inevitably I would continue… until one day, I finally didn’t.

It wasn’t this grand feminist movement, or calculated choice. It was simply a woman seriously fed up with the years of discomfort for societies approval. I never shaved my hair for me, it was always to be in that space of “fitting in”, and so finally I allowed myself the space to release the old story and habit, to figure out if I really even needed to get rid of my hair as a preference to me. At the end of the day, my body should be ABOUT ME! How would I know if I even cared about my hair if I never gave myself a chance to experience it?

So I let it grow wild, I let it come in… and to be honest initially I was SOOOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE! But much like my journey with my body image I wanted to see if I could normalize it for myself, and eventually I did. It went from being the thing I couldn’t help but see, to something that I didn’t even think about. It went from being a big deal, to something that hardly ever crossed my mind. I started to seriously appreciate the extra time, the saved money, and the detachment to this idea that I needed to remove it. I got really comfortable with the idea of simply doing whatever I felt like, and so some days I would remove it on a whim, a desire to try something new, much like I would with a new haircut or colour. Other times I would let it grow in areas for months or even years. I had successfully removed my attachment to the notion of not being able to be beautiful or desirable without removing my body hair. I was free to choose what my heart wanted, and it was wildly empowering.

Is this to say that you should or shouldn’t have hair? LORD NO! It’s merely a conversation spark. Something to get you asking the questions like “am I doing this for me?” Because at the end of the day, that’s what matters most. Whatever you do, you’ve got to do for you, Boo. Do what makes you comfortable, what makes you happy & what makes you feel like an absolute QUEEN!

xx Lindsay

Brilliant Business, Empowered Living, Loving Myself Loudly, Motherhood, Yogi Lifestyle

Learning The Lesson of Self Care – Big Business Bust & Breakthrough

Hustle.
Heart.
Push.
Shove.
Break.
Surrender…

This week has come in waves, allowing lessons to come full circle and permeate my soul. I’ve been a hustler & lady boss for the past 4.5 years, going against the grain and choosing how I want to organize my life, and ultimately earn an income through sharing my passions and gifts. It sounds glamorous, I know, but truthfully it’s not always sunshine and roses, and it takes a metric shit ton of energy, focus and determination. Throw in an unpredictable 2 year old, Retreat launch, and a whole lot of social media wrangling and to say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.

I preach self love & care on the regular, and it’s absolutely a foundation of the life that I’ve built for myself. That being said, being the strong willed, passionately stubborn Aries that I am, occasionally I get caught up in the hustle and forget about the importance of harmony.

How sexy does that words sound to you? Harmony! YES! Who doesn’t want more of that in their life, am I right?

This week I got full on tunnel vision into the massive output required with the projects and circus that is my life in this moment, and I forgot the all important lessons of matching my energy input. I forgot to ensure my cup was full. Want to know the result? CHAOS & STRESS! Pretty much the furthest thing form harmony…

Thankfully I have an incredible support system around me, and I had the smarts to lean on them. It took a quick message from a close friend who knows me & all that I stand for.

“First off take a deep breath, you are a yoga teacher after all. Before you drive yourself nuts, remember to check in with your energy levels. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t force it. It’s all energy, and the last thing you want to do is give away all your energy leaving your bank empty before you even get started.”

I got the message loud and clear. Get grounded, fill your cup, and trust the flow. Running on empty will never serve anyone, or allow me to serve the community of women that I’m here to support. So I unplugged. I thanked my friend for not being afraid to call me on my BS, and pushing me into some additional self care. I indulged in a delicious lunch with my cell phone out of arms reach, and headed to a yoga class. I pull my head out of my ass, and tapped back into that beautiful flow of my heart. And you know what? It not only worked, but it resulted in more success, growth & action thank I had experienced all week. In the time that I took for myself to practice what I preach, to refill my cup, 3 women decided to commit to themselves and I came out of class to new energy & funds in my account.

We have to prioritize our energy! We have to make a point of serving ourselves first and getting really good at giving back to us, especially for those of us in a position of serving others. Be it coaching, yoga teaching, a practitioner, or a mother, we need to make a point of filling our cups, and knowing that if things get crazier, we need to do even more for us, not less.

So how are you feeling in your life?
Are you feeling in flow?
Are you experiencing that ever elusive Harmony?
or…
Are you feeling much like I was this week?
Overwhelmed.. Burnt out.. Chaotic… in desperate need for a time out from life?

Take a moment here and get really honest with yourself. Whether you’re in the middle of a massive project or simply stuck in the throws of a traditional J.O.B. or Motherhood, how is your energy feeling? How is your body feeling? Is your mind stuck in a negative feedback loop that just seems like it won’t let up?

I feel you, and I want to help you.
Are you ready to help yourself too?

If your soul is screaming a big fat “LORD YES!” then this is for YOU.
A beautifully & thoughtfully crafted weekend of immense self love, and healing self care. The exact chance you’ve been longing for to completely unplug from life, and tap fully into your heart & soul. A dreamy weekend spent with likeminded women who fucking get it. A community to lean on, an experience designed to ignite and shape you, and the difference between feeling drained and completely overflowing.

Join me this October 27th-29th  for 3 days of Bliss. The Loving Myself Loudly Retreat Experience is exactly what you’ve been waiting for, so leap in and together lets step back into a place of Harmony & Flow. To find out more about this exclusive retreat opportunity along with how you can treat yoself visit our Facebook page and click on events. It’s time to invest in your absolute best, and I couldn’t be more excited to help you get back to you.

xx Lindsay Umlah

Empowered Living, Motherhood, Yogi Lifestyle

Embracing Our Sensitive Side: Freedom of Expression

Growing up I vividly remember the rollercoaster of emotions that I experienced on a daily basis, and the often wild ways I chose to express myself. Be it wild vivacious laughter, dancing and sheer joy, to ultimate devastation, uncontrollable sobbing and incoherent gasps through my tears. In the beginning I was open, I was raw and I was free to express myself as we often see young children do. As the years passed and I grew my wild self expression became something entirely different, it gained a label and gave me a title, The Drama Queen.

“You’re so dramatic!… Quit being such a Drama Queen”. words that I heard almost daily. Words that I’m sure I wasn’t alone in hearing. And with each time I heard them I would protest with as much enthusiasm as whatever I had been previously expressing, because every single time I heard those words, they stung. To me they said “you’re embarrassing yourself, you shouldn’t feel this way, you need to change”.

As a society we seem to be afraid of emotions, of feelings, but even more so of open self expression. We label those who choose to express themselves freely as dramatic, or sometimes even artistic. We shun them when it’s out of the context of an arts class or a dance hall, and we choose to alienate those individuals who are simply naturally passionate, and incredibly sensitive. The years of belittling eventually wore on me and I lost a piece of myself, I started to burry my feelings and emotions and I turned to expressing myself through writing instead. I no longer lived in a place of authenticity, and Instead I wore a mask and lived in my head. I felt like a fraud, and more importantly I never felt like I fit in. The feelings never subsided, I still felt and experienced everything just as deeply, I simply found a way to tuck those feelings away until I could get home and put pen to paper. I became introverted, distant and deeply depressed.

It’s only been in the past 4-5 years that I’ve been learning to re-embrace my sensitive side, to let down my walls and freely express who I am once more. I’m finally coming back to a place in my life where I’m unfiltered, unguarded, and wholeheartedly open and authentic. It’s been an incredibly long journey, and I have worlds of work left to do, but I have seen progress, and I once again feel free.

As a mother one of my goals is to foster that sensitive side, to build up my children and allow them to feel safe to express their full range of emotions. To take the time to see them, hear them and meet them where they are. To never have them feel ashamed for how deeply they feel, how loudly they cry, or how wildly excited they get. To instead empower them to be 100% true to themselves and hopefully bring a wave of change to the world, a change that accepts and honours our emotions and feelings, however we choose to feel and express them. As the mother of a wildly sensitive, driven and stubborn Taurus I’ve already witnessed her express herself freely, and challenge my patience in many ways. I’ve also already had people comment on how dramatic my daughter is, and how I need to correct her behaviour. But instead I simply say a simple reminder, that she’s letting me know exactly how she feels, and that my only job is to love her, just as she is “drama” and all.

LINDSAY-315

We should never be afraid to show up as we are, to deeply feel, and to express ourselves. Here’s to wild self expression, deeply felt emotions and to the Drama Queen in all of us. May we reclaim that word and celebrate the freedom that it stands for, and remove the negativity that’s been associated with it in the past. Feeling is freedom!

xx Lindsay